Creative Writing Prompt #4

The 10 Worst Things that Could Happen on Your Way to Work

(in no particular order)
(and with no particular sincerity)

Note: For anyone confused by the use of plural pronouns: I have the luxury and joy of driving with my fabulous wife to work each day. Thus, what happens to me on the way to work happens to us.

1. Four flat tires.


2. A committee of vultures mistaking recognizing one of our cars as carrion and trying to fly off with it.


3. Discovering that the roads are coated in ice, soapy water, grease, and Teflon, and that those four have merged in such a way as to definitely prove the sporting axiom, "The whole is greater than the sum of the parts."


4. Realizing that we've forgotten to shut off the kitchen light, oven, stove, tart burner, hair straightener, dryer, shower, and alarm.


5. Realizing that we've forgotten to take napkins with our lunches.


6. Realizing that we don't need to come into work because it's Christmas day.


7. A call from our boss saying that there's no point in coming to work because we've both been fired and there's no point in going back home because he's remotely fire-bombed our house.


8. Realizing that being on #8 in a list of ten really means there are three left even though ten minus eight equals two.


9. Six words (including these): Explosive diarrhea.


10. Getting into an accident with the President and finding out that he's uninsured.

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Today's writing music selection: Loch Lomond